What do women really want and when did we become so picky?
The truth is....
Unfortunately for men, women base majority of their decisions on attraction. If your sitting like Mr. Rich on the left hand side of this picture all weight careless and drinking pop or beer, looking sluggish.... We've already decided we don't like you. I know it's not fair to judge a book by its cover, but, in all actuality even if you have a rock star personality we won't give you a chance. We need to feel joy kissing you, not disgust, excited hugging you or laying next to you.
I agree that it is not "fair" to treat anyone this way, however, even for men they see women the same way. Either our hair isn't long enough, our makeup isn't bright enough, our butts are too small, our breasts don't do what they want them to or we aren't sexual enough. We live in a society where we base any type of relationship by physical appearance. Even when it comes to friendships and conversations.
My advice: Be patient. Not every girl is going to like you and not every guy is going to think your hott ladies. I am a strong believer that there is someone out there for everyone and if your heart doesn't have the patience and your in a rush to have it all, your not going to find it. Don't rush something that isn't going to work, simply wait for that girl or guy that loves spending time with you, kissing you , holding you, waits for you and is everything for you.... Not because you want them to, but because they choose to.
Also, don't come off to desperate or strong. If you start talking about marriage too quick or sex too quick they will turn the other way. Hold your ground and let things play out for themselves. It all happens in the right timing. I wish things can go back to the way they used to be when you had to be married to be courted and a woman prided herself in her purity and waited, when a man did not only see you as a sex toy but a potential wife. Treat a lady like a lady, she'll be a lady for you and respect you. No man or woman is at fault.... our generations and appreciation for life has changed. Its up to us to figure out what we really deserve.
Yours Truly,
V
xoxoxo
This blog is dedicated to the lost and heart-broken who struggle to understand the minds of our human species :)
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Your stuck on PARK, sitting in NEUTRAL, rolling in REVERSE but you could never just GO!
There's a point where you just have to GO!
Dear Readers: I am answering to a concerned reader of an "soon to be" ex who his currently seeing someone else and still wants him to stick around. I'm not certain if he is married to her or not, however, the situation is she is getting the run around from the other guy and she needs the ex for comfort. Here's what I think:
We're women....... When we have a man wrapped around our fingers we capture his heart, and it is the easiest way to get exactly what we want, when we want it.It's like we take you through all these obstacles and challenges just to see how far you'll actually go. So, until you put your foot down and set the rules for yourself, we just keep on testing it out and hope that you won't leave us. Is this right? No! Is this fair? No! I'm going to take you through a few scenarios and the last one being what my reader is concerned about, but I want to show you exactly how it plays out.
Scenario #1- A woman and a man are dating, but the woman isn't getting too much attention from man. She doesn't see him regularly, is really into him, enjoys the time they do spend together, but somehow she feels empty because she needs more. She needs someone who she can call at anytime when she wants to talk,(Ladies: your man isn't your girlfriend, if you need to vent about stuff that is irrelevant to him call your girl) she wants someone who makes her feel beautiful and important and she needs someone who genuinely cares about her. So, if you are lacking in this area for her, she will find it where she knows she will find it. She knows that the other stuff you were giving her that doesn't involve an emotional attachment is there and if she calls you'll give it to her, so why does she need to pretend to care about you, if you've made it clear that it's nothing more. In the end it's a lack of communication and the mans part. Why? Because you failed to tell her what you wanted, so she is going to play you like a puppet until she can figure you out.
Scenario #2- The bad guy who is no good for her is what she needs. A woman needs excitement, someone who will keep her on her toes. If you're too predictable she's lost all interest in keeping you interested. I know it's easy to love a girl who you think you care about so much, but why do you want to love someone who continuously needs to second guess what she feels for you? The reason why she keeps calling you, is because she knows you'll be there.
If there is children involved, it becomes a complication. Genuinely, you don't know if she is doing it for the kids or for you. This is what you need to ask yourself..
What are her intentions?
What has she done to me?
Will she do it again?
Is she sincere when she expresses herself?
Does she only call when she is lonely?
Do I love her?
If you find yourself confused or hesitant, then follow your heart and let it go. You can't hold on to something that is only there out of convenience.
Yours Truly,
XOXO
V
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Woman Vs. Porn
What Woman Do For Men, What Men Do For Porn......
Essentially, one would assume the presence of a woman to man is a glorified blessing. Someone who can cook for you, clean for you and give you every sexual command you choose. Assuming you live together, if you don't then I'm sure the woman is always there for a man in other aspects. The approach of this blog isn't what you think it would have been by reading the title. Primarily, I wanted to argue how men abandon their women for porn, I then realized that it isn't a common occurrence that a man would do something so stupid. So, I have decided to write about what a women can do for a man and what men would do for porn. It won't be a precise outline, just a general gist of it.
A woman could...
- Give a man emotional support.
- Physically and sexually meet the needs of a man.
- Provide a sense of need
Porn could...
- Not talk back and complain
- Show a man sexual fantasies that their women aren't spontaneous enough to try
- Is there at a click of a button and doesn't need to be wined and dined with the company of his right hand
However, men don't love porn as much as they love women; somehow they still feel the need to refer to it in order to stimulate their attractions or prepare themselves for a woman. For reasons beyond me men will not give up porn for a woman. But a man will allow the women to leave them because they won't leave porn. Personally, ladies porn isn't that big of a deal. If anything it is benefiting you in the long run because your man is sexually stimulated and wants to release his attractions towards you. Nowadays, women watch porn more then men and are shy to admit it. If porn isn't his first choice, if he isn't cheating on you, if he isn't addicted to the point of obsession and he is satisfying you intimately, there is no need to obsess over the fact that your man watches porn. Offer to watch it with him, you might learn something.
This day of age porn has become something that is universally accepted and advanced that it isn't something you should be ashamed of. I am not encouraging anyone to watch porn, if it isn't something you enjoy, fine. I just don't see it to be a problem if porn is an option.
A woman can't provide all the fantasies porn can, so if your relationship is getting boring and you need something to spice it up. Don't be so quick to judge.
Yours Truly,
xoxo
V
Friday, February 10, 2012
Every Woman Needs A Man That Will Make Her Forget She Was EVER Hurt
Tired of being in love with Mr. Wrong?
I think it is officially time to recognize that looking for Mr. Right is a journey in itself. It doesn't mean that we need to give up hope. Ladies, what if you could find that one guy that makes you forget about how all the others broke your heart? Is it real? Will we ever find it?
I think many of you ladies are looking for the wrong things or are being analytically insane when searching for someone to love. It is possible and I think these are the things you should expect and the things you should run from.
What Mr. Right shouldn't do.....
Mr. Right should NEVER under zero circumstances...
1. Cheat- If he had the opportunity and took the opportunity to be with another woman then the odds are he really doesn't respect you.
2. Possessive- If his insecurities have taken over your relationship and he is controlling the decisions you make in your own life, then he will never give you a life that you will be free to be yourself.
3. Low Priorities- If he is unable to prioritize the important levels of life and prefers to be unemployed and depends on your money; you are setting yourself up with a man that you will never be able to trust and secure your life with.
4. Runaway- He should not go weeks without contacting you, he should not have control over your time with him and you shouldn't have to drop everything when he calls.
5. Abuse- If he is verbally/physically hurting you then a man like that will only lower your self-esteem to a point where your are unable to even love yourself.
Mr. Right should....
1. Love- He should show you, remind you (not daily-be realistic), hold you, let you cry but make you laugh, make you laugh hard enough you'll cry, keep you warm when you feel cold inside. The best part is that he does it without even trying or being asked. He loves you because his eyes show it, because his lips speak it and in his arms you'll feel it. He will be respectful and never hurt you in any form.
2. Trust- He will let you be a free to follow your dreams. He will fight with you when nobody else believes you can and support you when your losing hope.
3. Faithful- He might have small white lies, but he will not keep anything from you, he will be loyal to you and will feel compelled to tell you things he even thinks will hurt you. You want a best friend, a lover and then YOUR man.
4. Provide- It isn't necessary that he pays everything, however, he should always be concerned about your well being and try hard everyday to ensure that the two of you are well taken care of.
5. Stay Close- He doesn't need to call you at all hours of the day, but he should at least acknowledge you and see how your are doing or how your day was.
I'm not saying these things will score you the perfect man, but it will give you a guideline of hope and responses of how to gain respect. Don't be to quick to trust or confide, but don't be afraid to be vulnerable at the right times.
The best thing about finding Mr. Right is knowing that you didn't need to try hard or force someone to love you or go from date to date hoping you'll see yourself in a white dress soon; it's the moment when you realized it all fell into place and the person next to you will never be who the last guy was. He will be your present and future who you could never imagine placing you as their last priority or a temporary fix, but the precious jewel that you are.
The best thing about finding Mr. Right is knowing that you didn't need to try hard or force someone to love you or go from date to date hoping you'll see yourself in a white dress soon; it's the moment when you realized it all fell into place and the person next to you will never be who the last guy was. He will be your present and future who you could never imagine placing you as their last priority or a temporary fix, but the precious jewel that you are.
xoxoxo
yours truly,
V
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