What MRS RIGHT should possess

 

 Dear Reader:

There is no say as to what Mrs. Right should look like and how she should act. I remember in school we had to look at a jar of jelly beans and we had to think about how many of the red ones were in there and how many white ones there were. Somehow after spilling the jelly beans all over the table a mystery color would should up. It was rare to get that black colored one with an unknown flavor and every kid was always scared to taste it. This is how I see a man's search for a woman.

There are so many fish in the sea, you find the loose and easy girls, the over possessive analytical girls, the ones that are too afraid to be themselves and finally those who are clearly great for you but it's too hard to work for. So, Mrs. Right needs to.....

1. Respect you- A woman who doesn't respect a man will do whatever she pleases, whenever she pleases and care less about anything you will ever have to say about her.
2. Guide & Support you- Everyone has their north star (a goal, a mission , a reason for life), weather it be to work up to that house you want or rebuild a car you dream for. No matter the goal or how ridiculous your north star might sound to her, she should help you get there and support your beliefs.
3. Trust you- If she can't trust you, she will never be a woman of kindness, generosity, love, or sincerity. Everything she does or says to you will be generic and hypothetical only so that she is secure with whatever it is she thinks your doing.
4. Cater to you- I know some woman are going to flip when they read this, but in all honesty, my mom and my grandma taught me to be this way. If dinner is served, serve your boyfriend or husband, he had a bad day at work....give him a massage or listen to his rant and respond don't just say ahhaha yeah okay. Let her go the extra mile. It's a two way street nowadays, don't expect her to be your slave, but know that she possesses these caring aspects because if you're planning to get old with her you want to know she cares enough to see the minor details.
5. Loves you- A woman that truly loves you, I mean really loves you will go to the end of the earth for you. Once you find that woman, don't let her go if you love her too. She will always be by your side and never let go. Be faithful to heart as well as her to yours. 

Remember, nothing is easy and nothing worth having is good enough if you can't fight for it. In other words, it won't be handed to you on a silver platter. You'll have really bad days, you'll argue, you'll fight, you'll go through things that traditional couples will never make it through, but that's what makes it worth the fight. That's what makes it love and that's exactly what makes Mrs Right your Mrs Right. She will stick with you through anything as long as you love her the same. But remember you should have....

  Honesty- First of all, you will never gain a woman's attention by lying to her. The only way you will ever gain and keep her interested is to make sure the first words that come out of your mouth and the things you say to her on the daily basis are both honest and sincere.
 Upkeep- Woman are much more shallow the men, we will judge everything about you. Your nails, hair, smile and everything you say. So, just as much as you want us to look good when we go out with you, keep yourself up. We don't want to be around a guy that looks like he just rolled out of bed just as much as you don't want us to walk out with you in pajamas and uncombed hair.
Loyalty- A woman doesn't want to worry that her man is taking interest in another woman, respect her! Don't check out other woman bluntly in front of her. Although you think she doesn't notice she does. She probably won't say anything to not make a big deal about it, but it makes her feel insecure. You have to make her feel like she's the only and most beautiful woman in the room. Don't engage in friendships with other woman that are obviously inappropriate and misconstrued,  if it makes your woman uncomfortable and you know the things your saying to your friend would upset your woman then you should probably be mindful to those things, because they catch up to you. A woman carries zero tolerence for these things.

Mrs. Right shouldn't have to feel at competition for your love and attention or feel like there's always someone else. Make her feel important and show her how much you care. We women are very tender, push us the wrong way and we will fall apart, but pay attention to the small details and we will remain that mystery color that you so anxiously always want to bite to find out how it taste.

Yours Truly,
xoxoxo
V

No More Drama In My Life!

I have a theory: Couples who constantly argue or find reasons to argue are truly not meant to be. Couples who rarely argue and find simple solutions to minor issues are those who are meant to last. Let me explain!

In a relationship where one individual is unhappy or truly unsatisfied with the relationship, there is always a reason to argue or find problems. There are several examples I can give you. If a man and woman are together and the man is unhappy the women knows that deep down he isn't. What happens in this scenario; is that the womens' insecurities have multiplied because she is well aware that he feels like he can do better. This causes unnecssary arguments, drama and issues. Also, what happens is that the person with the insecurties and the one who feels like they need to work ten times harder to keep the relationship ends up sophicating the other person. In many cases, when you've been sophicated or over analyzed, you cheat or move on. Why? Because if you're already being accused and the other person is convinced it's already happening, then why not do it? They already believe it in their hearts so give them something to complain about.

Advice: If you need to go the extra mile, work harder for attention or beg for attention; then it's not worth your time. If the relationship is true and the other person really cares for you, you wouldn't have to work so hard to keep it going. It's a two player game, you're not in a relationship by yourself.

The Happy Couple: When your able to give each other space, trust each other, be honest with each other, talk about your concerns and not argue and both enjoy each others company; then you know it is a healthy relationship.

You shouldn't be afraid to bring up topics with your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife. You should be able to present the problem or subject with confidence that your other half is going to support what you have to say and respect your opinion. Everyone has their flaws and nobody is perfect. If you can't accept that, then you deserve to be alone. Don't expect someone to be your perfect prince charming or your sexy airbrushed model. The beauty and love is at the heart not at the imperfections. Once you learn to accept that, it will pay off to a much happier relationship.

Advice: Be happy with yourself. Nobody can love someone who is insecure with themselves and won't be able to make you feel any better. If they fell for you it's because you were you, don't try to be someone else and don't try to be perfect, you're not.

Advice: Don't be afraid. If you can't talk to him or her then you'll never be able to be open and honest.

Be honest. Trust Each Other. Be Secure. Discuss Issues (don't argue). Love Hard (you might only get one chance so tell them when you feel it, they'll say it back). Be Spontaneous. Give Space (don't sophicate each other). Talk (you need to really get to know each other). Be Loyal (Karma is a bitch and two can play that game).

I understand that arguments happen and that there will be rough patches on the road, but it's not about having the problems its about how you face them with each other. If you're not willing to fight together to keep it real then you're probably not meant to be together and it's time to evalutate how you really feel about yourself before you try to love someone else.


Yours Truly,

V

xoxo

How Shallow Are Women?

What do women really want and when did we become so picky?

The truth is....
Unfortunately for men, women base majority of their decisions on attraction. If your sitting like Mr. Rich on the left hand side of this picture all weight careless and drinking pop or beer, looking sluggish.... We've already decided we don't like you. I know it's not fair to judge a book by its cover, but, in all actuality even if you have a rock star personality we won't give you a chance. We need to feel joy kissing you, not disgust, excited hugging you or laying next to you.
I agree that it is not "fair" to treat anyone this way, however, even for men they see women the same way. Either our hair isn't long enough, our makeup isn't bright enough, our butts are too small, our breasts don't do what they want them to or we aren't sexual enough. We live in a society where we base any type of relationship by physical appearance. Even when it comes to friendships and conversations.

My advice: Be patient. Not every girl is going to like you and not every guy is going to think your hott ladies. I am a strong believer that there is someone out there for everyone and if your heart doesn't have the patience and your in a rush to have it all, your not going to find it. Don't rush something that isn't going to work, simply wait for that girl or guy that loves spending time with you, kissing you , holding you, waits for you and is everything for you.... Not because you want them to, but because they choose to.

Also, don't come off to desperate or strong. If you start talking about marriage too quick or sex too quick they will turn the other way. Hold your ground and let things play out for themselves. It all happens in the right timing. I wish things can go back to the way they used to be when you had to be married to be courted and a woman prided herself in her purity and waited, when a man did not only see you as a sex toy but a potential wife. Treat a lady like a lady, she'll be a lady for you and respect you. No man or woman is at fault.... our generations and appreciation for life has changed. Its up to us to figure out what we really deserve.

Yours Truly,

V
xoxoxo

Your stuck on PARK, sitting in NEUTRAL, rolling in REVERSE but you could never just GO!

There's a point where you just have to GO!

Dear Readers: I am answering to a concerned reader of an "soon to be" ex who his currently seeing someone else and still wants him to stick around. I'm not certain if he is married to her or not, however, the situation is she is getting the run around from the other guy and she needs the ex for comfort. Here's what I think:

We're women....... When we have a man wrapped around our fingers we capture his heart, and it is the easiest way to get exactly what we want, when we want it.It's like we take you through all these obstacles and challenges just to see how far you'll actually go. So, until you put your foot down and set the rules for yourself, we just keep on testing it out and hope that you won't leave us. Is this right? No! Is this fair? No! I'm going to take you through a few scenarios and the last one being what my reader is concerned about, but I want to show you exactly how it plays out.

 Scenario #1- A woman and a man are dating, but the woman isn't getting too much attention from man. She doesn't see him regularly, is really into him, enjoys the time they do spend together, but somehow she feels empty because she needs more. She needs someone who she can call at anytime when she wants to talk,(Ladies: your man isn't your girlfriend, if you need to vent about stuff that is irrelevant to him call your girl) she wants someone who makes her feel beautiful and important and she needs someone who genuinely cares about her. So, if you are lacking in this area for her, she will find it where she knows she will find it. She knows that the other stuff you were giving her that doesn't involve an emotional attachment is there and if she calls you'll give it to her, so why does she need to pretend to care about you, if you've made it clear that it's nothing more. In the end it's a lack of communication and the mans part. Why? Because you failed to tell her what you wanted, so she is going to play you like a puppet until she can figure you out.

Scenario #2- The bad guy who is no good for her is what she needs. A woman needs excitement, someone who will keep her on her toes. If you're too predictable she's lost all interest in keeping you interested. I know it's easy to love a girl who you think you care about so much, but why do you want to love someone who continuously needs to second guess what she feels for you? The reason why she keeps calling you, is because she knows you'll be there.

If there is children involved, it becomes a complication. Genuinely, you don't know if she is doing it for the kids or for you. This is what you need to ask yourself..

What are her intentions?

What has she done to me?

Will she do it again?

Is she sincere when she expresses herself?

Does she only call when she is lonely?

Do I love her?

If you find yourself confused or hesitant, then follow your heart and let it go. You can't hold on to something that is only there out of convenience. 

Yours Truly,

XOXO

V

Woman Vs. Porn

What Woman Do For Men, What Men Do For Porn......

  Essentially, one would assume the presence of a woman to man is a glorified blessing. Someone who can cook for you, clean for you and give you every sexual command you choose. Assuming you live together, if you don't then I'm sure the woman is always there for a man in other aspects. The approach of this blog isn't what you think it would have been by reading the title. Primarily, I wanted to argue how men abandon their women for porn, I then realized that it isn't a common occurrence that a man would do something so stupid. So, I have decided to write about what a women can do for a man and what men would do for porn. It won't be a precise outline, just a general gist of it.

A woman could...

1. Give a man emotional support.
2. Physically and sexually meet the needs of a man.
3. Provide a sense of need

Porn could...

1. Not talk back and complain
2. Show a man sexual fantasies that their women aren't spontaneous enough to try
3. Is there at a click of a button and doesn't need to be wined and dined with the company of his right hand

However, men don't love porn as much as they love women; somehow they still feel the need to refer to it in order to stimulate their attractions or prepare themselves for a woman. For reasons beyond me men will not give up porn for a woman. But a man will allow the women to leave them because they won't leave porn. Personally, ladies porn isn't that big of a deal. If anything it is benefiting you in the long run because your man is sexually stimulated and wants to release his attractions towards you. Nowadays, women watch porn more then men and are shy to admit it. If porn isn't his first choice, if he isn't cheating on you, if he isn't addicted to the point of obsession and he is satisfying you intimately, there is no need to obsess over the fact that your man watches porn. Offer to watch it with him, you might learn something. 

This day of age porn has become something that is universally accepted and advanced that it isn't something you should be ashamed of. I am not encouraging anyone to watch porn, if it isn't something you enjoy, fine. I just don't see it to be a problem if porn is an option.

A woman can't provide all the fantasies porn can, so if your relationship is getting boring and you need something to spice it up. Don't be so quick to judge. 

Yours Truly,

xoxo

V

Every Woman Needs A Man That Will Make Her Forget She Was EVER Hurt

Tired of being in love with Mr. Wrong?

I think it is officially time to recognize that looking for Mr. Right is a journey in itself. It doesn't mean that we need to give up hope. Ladies, what if you could find that one guy that makes you forget about how all the others broke your heart? Is it real? Will we ever find it?

I think many of you ladies are looking for the wrong things or are being analytically insane when searching for someone to love. It is possible and I think these are the things you should expect and the things you should run from.

What Mr. Right shouldn't do.....

Mr. Right should NEVER under zero circumstances...

1. Cheat- If he had the opportunity and took the opportunity to be with another woman then the odds are he really doesn't respect you.

2. Possessive- If his insecurities have taken over your relationship and he is controlling the decisions you make in your own life, then he will never give you a life that you will be free to be yourself.

3. Low Priorities- If he is unable to prioritize the important levels of life and prefers to be unemployed and depends on your money; you are setting yourself up with a man that you will never be able to trust and secure your life with.

4. Runaway- He should not go weeks without contacting you, he should not have control over your time with him and you shouldn't have to drop everything when he calls.

5. Abuse- If he is verbally/physically hurting you then a man like that will only lower your self-esteem to a point where your are unable to even love yourself.

Mr. Right should....

1. Love- He should show you, remind you (not daily-be realistic), hold you, let you cry but make you laugh, make you laugh hard enough you'll cry, keep you warm when you feel cold inside. The best part is that he does it without even trying or being asked. He loves you because his eyes show it, because his lips speak it and in his arms you'll feel it. He will be respectful and never hurt you in any form. 

2. Trust- He will let you be a free to follow your dreams. He will fight with you when nobody else believes you can and support you when your losing hope. 

3. Faithful- He might have small white lies, but he will not keep anything from you, he will be loyal to you and will feel compelled to tell you things he even thinks will hurt you. You want a best friend, a lover and then YOUR man.

4. Provide- It isn't necessary that he pays everything, however, he should always be concerned about your well being and try hard everyday to ensure that the two of you are well taken care of.

5. Stay Close- He doesn't need to call you at all hours of the day, but he should at least acknowledge you and see how your are doing or how your day was.

I'm not saying these things will score you the perfect man, but it will give you a guideline of hope and responses of how to gain respect. Don't be to quick to trust or confide, but don't be afraid to be vulnerable at the right times.
The best thing about finding Mr. Right is knowing that you didn't need to try hard or force someone to love you or go from date to date hoping you'll see yourself in a white dress soon; it's the moment when you realized it all fell into place and the person next to you will never be who the last guy was. He will be your present and future who you could never imagine placing you as their last priority or a temporary fix, but the precious jewel that you are.

xoxoxo

yours truly,

V

Are men really looking for the girl to take home to mom?

A man wants you to love him, so you give your all.
A man says he's tired of crazy women, so your as normal as you can be.
A man says he hates a golddigger, and you try to pay for everything.
A man says his kids are his gold, so you try to spoil them too.
A man says he needs space, so you keep your distance.
A man says they want a great girl, but he will let you go.
A man isn't a man when he can't just simply tell you exactly how it is.

What do men want?!

Well, the generation we are in, they have lost respect for the quality of a good woman. Actually, I blame a lot of it on the "easy" women. It is more like slut vs. marraige type, no matter who wins men seem to be dipping into both without realizing the damage they are causing or how maybe the only reason why they marry woman now is because woman demand it.
I shall expand on my idea:

FIRST EXAMPLE- A man and woman marry, they marry because an ultimatum was given to the man..... marry me or I'm leaving...blahh blahh blahhh. Now, man is married or is in "matromonial jail" and one day is out and meets a sexy, smart and "easy" woman to lure. Guess what, I can say 80% of these men wouldn't think twice and will make miss thang their side chick. Worse part is that many woman just don't care if a man is married or not anymore. Which makes it hard to not cheat for a man, the number one reason people cheat is because there is always someone there willing to do it. Side chick thinks she's in love and he's leaving wife, then man says I don't love you, I have to be with wife for the kids. Reality check ladies, he's on safe ground with his wife.... first of all, she probably already knows he's cheating because I think wives secretly just know and she's still there folding his clothes, cooking his dinners and going to bed with him at night; not you!

SECOND EXAMPLE- Man invites you over to his house and leads you to his bedroom... Scenario #1- He's a gentleman, cuddles with you and watches a movie, a possible second date :) Scenario #2- He jumps the gun, starts making out with you, takes off your clothes and next thing you know you are already having sex; your only meant to be a sex thing for him.. Scenario #3- He tells you after sex, I'm not looking for anything serious.... blah blah blah OMG same story. A man nowadays wants a woman they can toy with and not be worried about the drama they bring to their lives. So instead of keeping you happy, they keep you as a side chick knowing they have you at their sleeve and you'll do anything to try and convince him to be serious with you. Unfortunately, for the naive woman they get played and the man moves on to the next one.

I think, that marriage isn't in the cards anymore. It is difficult to meet someone who is serious about love, nonetheless, even looking for love. I don't think men care enough anymore about the keeper, because the "easy" woman is more than willing to give him all the cookies in the oven before he even walks into the kitchen. Why try to be serious about someone ( a woman ), if a woman doesn't care what comes next besides her wishful thinking. If having sex with a man determines if he stays or not then your not finding prince charming because your kissing the wrong frogs. Let go of the users and mistreaters and respect yourself if you want a man to respect you. Truth is: He doesn't want to be serious, he wants to do what he wants.

Yours Truly,
xoxox
V