What happen the kind of love that makes your knees weak?

We all yearn for the day when we will find that special someone who can truly and immensely complete us. Over the centuries, the meaning of love has been diminished. Too often as human beings we have taken for granted what it really means to value someone as a person and love them for who they are. The meaning of love has faded and has become this promiscuous word that is thrown around, from relationship to relationship. Altogether we have given up on love and just started to settle for less or not enough.


Before my grandparents time, most marriages were arranged and somehow that was okay. I believe arranged marriages functioned because after these two people were forced to be together, they had the time to get to know each other and their similarities. Somehow, they would find a reason for happiness. Not saying that in every situation then is true, however, they made it work. 


Now, a relationship like my Grandparents in Puerto Rico, they met and fell in love. The beauty of their love is that they met in a time where things weren't perfect. They both shared their flaws and they were accepted. Arguments and disagreements didn't result in a divorce, it resulted into a stronger love because they had the patience to work through things. 


In our day in age, being with one person for the rest of your life seems to be an outrageous idea. Its sad really, because to have sex with one person and to be committed to loving one person through thick and thin is much harder than giving up and walking away; even if it means you ignore the way the person makes you feel inside. What happen to the feeling where your stomach starts turning when you see each other, the excitement of hearing his/her voice on the phone, the anticipation of spending another day together and the love that makes your knees go weak and your eyes tear? We've blocked love, we don't let it happen anymore because we're scared. 


We're afraid of needing someone, depending on someone and getting used to that person being around us all the time; that we've lost sight of the things that make love happen. Get to know everything about each other, learn what they hate and love, hold them when they are at their worse, celebrate with them when their at their absolute best and finally let them be there for you. If you don't make time for that person and avoid everything that will cause you to feel anything remotely close to love; guess what, you'll never feel love.


Some have been hurt, lied to and betrayed; but the truth is, that was not love. If someone had the decency to hurt you, to keep a lie from you and take advantage of your heart; that isn't someone who ever loved you to begin with. You need to open up your heart and allow that 19th Century love feeling back into reality, it isn't fiction and it isn't always the same for someone.


Love happens at different ages, random moments you might never expect; it hits you when your guard is down and it tests you more than life can ever imagine. That's the beauty of love. To grasp this love is what your best bet is, don't let it slip through your fingers! Sink into the quick sand and take a risk. You don't ever wanna let go of love, because when you figured out what love really was when it doesn't work out with someone else, love won't want you back. 


You do things right, open your heart and appreciate the person your with and learn to love everything about them, I can guarantee you that the weak in the knees, you can barely speak feeling will hit you so unexpectedly that your heart almost feels like it hurts.


Yours Truly,
Xoxoxoxo
Viviana

Social Life or Your Child?

A Man Who Chooses To Party Over Spending a Weekend With His Child; IS NOT A MAN!

I truly  100% wanted to avoid talking about this topic because I feel like I would only be providing a bias opinion. I will try my best to respond to this blog concern without including my personal emotional attachment; hard but possible.. so Here we go!

• If he doesn't call to ask how the baby is doing
• If he doesn't give you money for diapers, wipes, food, etc..
• If he only sees his child once a month, week, year or hasn't at all
• If he rather be on a date or go to the club one weekend then be with his kids

If he makes excuses all the time for little to no reason at all,

HE'S A STUPID DEADBEAT DAD

I don't think there is any reason at all a father should come up with reasons why seeing their children isn't a "convenient" time for them. For a reason beyond me, I cannot understand why a man feels that he has zero obligation to take care of a child he clearly conceived. I feel a man like that is selfish, immature, ridiculous and an idiot. I know some men can't control when they are able to see their children, but take the initiative to be there when your most needed for your child with all feelings to the side towards your "baby momma." 

I say MAN UP and take care of your responsibilities. I don't think there is a reason or explanation why a man can be so negligent and insensitive. There's no reason why he should have an excuse or a reason. It disgusts me to see a child be denied, ignored, forgotten or left. 

As for the ladies, don't worry about a man who doesn't care to be there for your child. The law is behind you and all you have to do is put him on child support and never have to deal with him ever again. If he doesn't want to be there than that's his problem, he is the only one who will feel as if he were less of a man when his own child denies him when he needs him/her. Be strong and look towards the future and worry about explaining things to your children when they are MUCH older. For now, all you can do is smile, be grateful for the amazing children God has placed in your arms and love them eternally. 

Yours Truly,

XOXOXO

Vivian

Jealousy Is A Disease; GET WELL SOON!

Jealousy Means No Trust, No Trust Means No Relationship

 I've heard almost every excuse of a jealous person, I've been a jealous person in my past and I've seen what jealousy can do to a relationship. The pain almost becomes unbearable and the excuses for jealousy grow larger and larger that in a way, it consumes you and everything you stand for. There is a limit to jealousy and a limit to how you approach it.

I believe there are many approaches to jealousy and many different ways to pinpoint when enough is enough. Here are a few points that I'd like to make clear.

1. He/She tells you "It hurts to imagine you with anyone else," well, if he/she doesn't want to see that happen then reminding you constantly of his/her insecurities will drive the person to exactly that, if the persistence becomes overbearing. Your response should clearly be that in most obvious ways your already theirs, so not trusting you enough to believe that can escalate to more serious issues.
2. He/she has the password to everything and checks your phone constantly or screens your calls. First of all, if the person hasn't given you a reason to not trust him/her, STAY OUT! I cannot stress how much this absolutely irritates me. If you want to see something ask, but there is no more of an obsessive act then that. If they have to look through your things to make sure your "faithful" someone needs to seriously rethink the relationship.
3. Restricts you from dressing a certain way or talking to certain people. Look, if they are secure with the relationship it should NOT be an issue. If you look "too sexy" one day then they should be happy to be holding you in their arms and be proud.... If your prohibited from talking to some family or friends then obviously someone is becoming way to controlling.
4. Abusive jealousy, if someone hits you.. he/she doesn't honestly love you! There is no reason in this world why abuse should be an expression of love nor jealousy. Jealousy is not an excuse to be abusive. Abuse is unacceptable, especially because someone just doesn't trust you.

There are several different examples of jealousy and why every form of it is unacceptable. Your relationship will fail or you will be miserable for a very long time. Small jealousy like, you saw an attractive person talking to your guy/girl and you mention to your guy/girl that you didn't feel comfortable with it because there was some flirting , then okay... but if it's friendly conversation then relax. Be comfortable in your own skin and trust the person you are with. If you think someone is going to cheat on you, it will be done regardless if your jealous actions take place or not. You can't stop a cheater but you can be wise and secure with yourself and if you have to move on then you move on. 

Yours Truly

Xoxo

Vivian

Family Intervenes With Your Relationship? What happens when they can't agree?

Through experience and the stories of many of my loved ones, when a family gets in the middle of a relationship, someone needs to put their foot down or get over it. 

The truth is: When the family gets involved with your relationship 90% of the time, it probably isn't going to work. The reasons are clear, someone is too afraid to speak up and let themselves be lead by the decisions of others or your not grown enough to handle your own situations. I'm going to approach this from two different perspectives, the person being driven by the family and the person who was "victimized" by the other family.

First of all, when your family really dislikes someone you are dating it's your responsibility of how you handle the situation. It completely depends on how you feel about the individual. Its simple, if you truly care and or love this person, screw what your family says. You need to fight for the person you care about no matter what anyone says about them. In any situation it honestly doesn't matter what the reasonings are. Stand up for what you believe is best for you. In the end nobody's feelings matter but your own, so if your too naive or prideful to determine who you should agree with, you just might lose the person who's meant to spend the rest of your life with you. Do not let your parents/siblings/cousins/aunts etc... come into your relationship and tell you how to do things, when to do them, whats right and/or wrong. It's none of their business, especially if your a man! Dude, MAN UP! Stand up for your woman and don't allow anyone to disrespect your relationship just because they believe your life should be lived the way they think is true.

As for the person being "victimized" don't and I repeat DON'T allow yourself to be contained nor controlled in this relationship. If the other persons family is over interactive or simply just NOSY  say something. Either to your boyfriend/girlfriend or the family who gives way too much opinion that isn't needed. If it doesn't change and it becomes something your significant other isn't stepping up to the plate to protect, then leave. Try to move far away from them, limit family phone calls and learn how to separate your love life from your family life.

Now, if your both just in a relationship where the only problem is disapproval and it is clear that you are both in love. Don't pull a Romeo and Juliet and kill yourself, but escape that and talk it out with your families and if they are unable to deal with it, then simply their problem and its time to live your life. I do not encourage Teens to this same advice, I am suggesting this to grown individuals clearly seeking to be comforted with someone who they genuinely and sincerely care about.

Any questions? IM me, or respond to this blog.. CLICK FOLLOW :)

Yours Truly,

XOXO

Vivian

Don't Rush The Relationship, Get To Know Each Other Please :D

Don't think your the only one who has made this mistake or has thought about "jumping the gun" way too soon. It's our mistake as loving creatures to want someone there for you that you can call yours to love. It's okay to want that love, but when the relationship is forced or rushed, things might not turn out so hot. I have a few points why the relationship becomes a bigger challenge if this is the case.


1. You just started dating- You just started dating not even a month yet and have already considered each other boyfriend/girlfriend. GIVE IT TIME, geez what's the rush. Find out each others intentions obviously, but don't do that.


2. Your a couple for only a few months- and you've already started saying I love You, talking about marriage and names for future kids, this would really send me the other way, so I'm sure many other people do.. That scares people.


3. Moved in with each other not knowing each other for more than a year- Truth is, that is not enough time to know someone and your in for a treat. If you thought you knew someone, you don't until you've lived with them. You'll find out what you dislike about the person and just cant bear with.


4. Your married in a year- What's the rush to the alter? Sometimes this is a problem more with the ladies, giving the man hints of rings at jewelery stores and worse is when given an ultimatum, those usually end in divorce.


What's my point? 


My point is, PLEASE get to know the person really well before you decide to commit. It might seem all peachy now, but make sure you've seen them at their worse, accept them at their ugliest, understand their bad habits, accept their flaws, and make them your best friend first. If you have found someone that you can talk to, not hide any secrets, never afraid to approach them and you know they won't judge you for your mistakes or support all your ideas.. than you can make it serious. Get to know the little things, like an unusual birth mark or one leg longer than the other. LOL , just take it one day at a time and you'll know when the timing is right.
Don't take your sweet time either, don't date someone for a year and still consider them just someone your talking to, I think by than you might need some kind of Title. Don't hold on to anything for too long, because the person waiting, isn't going to wait forever.


Yours Truly

XOXOXOX


Vivian 

"Friends with Benefits" , Just Doesn't Work!

:Now that you've watched the trailer to the upcoming movie; you can see I'm not the only person who thinks it doesn't work: :)

Ladies and Gentleman,

        It is to my utmost discretion to absolutely avoid any type of circumstance that will risk the weaknesses of the heart. Although it may seem like a good idea at the moment to have "benefits" without the commitment, someone eventually is going to fall for the other person. It is natural that we as human beings start to develop feelings for someone, but when your at the edge between losing the company of the person who has made you feel so great for a long while, it becomes difficult to speak the truth.

First of all, when a sexual relationship is established and its clear that nobody wants a relationship or has mentioned looking for a relationship, you just learn to enjoy each others company and hope that it doesn't end in disaster. So, when its just about sex, let it be just about sex. Don't go out on dates, worry about each others feelings, meet the families, or lead the other person to thinking that you actually care. A "booty call" is what your supposed to be, leave it at that.

Now, if it just so happen that you were searching for only "sex" but then realize that being a relationship with this person is something you would really like to happen, my suggestion to you is to say something. Be careful that you don't react to your feelings to soon, you could scare the other person depending on your approach. Just say, "I've really started to enjoy your company and I think we should take our relationship to the next level and see how that works out," or something along those lines.

My advice to you reader: The most you can ever do is be you, and if you know you, you know what the extremity of your limits are. So, if you think your heart will mix up into the depth of things, "friends with benefits" isn't going to work. In fact, it never works. Its either one or both people end up getting hurt or the relationship will become something bigger, either way it doesn't work.
Just make it clear from the beginning what your looking for, instead of playing hide and seek with your heart and emotions.
Yours Truly,
xoxoxo
Vivian

"I'm Your Girlfriend Not Your Babysitter, GROW UP"

Things You Shouldn't Expect Your Girlfriend To Do For You, Just Because Your Not Mature

Ladies, this has to be one of the things that make our faces turn the other way. When a man can't hold his own ground or continuously insists that we be their "mommy" its time to step away and tell them to "Grow Up!" Here is a list of things, as a woman, I believe a man shouldn't expect from a woman, nonetheless, do for themselves.

1. Pay A Mans Bills-  There is nothing wrong with your girlfriend helping you once in a while if you are struggling in this tough economy, but do not expect us to pay for EVERY meal, EVERY bill, EVERY little thing your heart desires or keep track of your bills and have to constantly remind you what needs to be paid. 

2.Tell Them To Cook Something The Way Mommy Makes It- Please do not tell your girlfriend how much you want her to do things the way your mom did them for you! Especially cooking, its okay to get away with a few recipes here and there, but, when a dish is made and you send it back saying it doesn't taste like your mom's, then we have a problem. 

3.Take Initiative- Woman don't like to be bossed around, but I can speak for most when I say, we hate making all the decisions. Do us a favor and be a man, when we need you to stand up for us, take us on spontaneous dates; rather then us always trying to make things interesting and please take control of difficult situations and let your girlfriend know you are there for her.


4.If you live together; clean!- You can not actually expect the lady to do everything around the house, we are in a new day of age. Women actually work, go to school and worry about many other responsibilities, therefore, you can pick up a dish or at least clean up after yourself. Like I said before, we are not your mothers.


5. He's Playing Games, ALL day- Your girlfriend wants to spend time with you, but your constantly on your PS3 or Xbox! Do not expect her to sit around accepting that your still acting like a teen, she'll need a man , so start acting like one.


6.He Wants To Be With His Friends- There is nothing wrong with being with the guys and spending time with them. Space is definitely needed, however, when your with your girl and its one on one time with her; DO NOT bring your guys with you all the time, we are not in high school anymore so stop acting like it.  


Gentleman, these are only a few things that drive us ladies crazy. Ladies, what am I missing? Your girl will get frustrated with you and leave. 


Xoxo
Yours Truly,
ViviNana